I'm going to be an Iowan

Now that Orrin has graduated from medical school we are moving to Iowa for residency.

 A lot of people have expressed sympathy to us regarding our move. But we picked Iowa- it was our top choice! When people ask why, my short answers go like this, "Low cost of living combined with higher salary, my sister and her fam live there, good neighborhoods and good schools, and I can see the mall with the Cheesecake Factory from my house." BOOM. That's it. But just in case you need some more convincing that we don't need your pity smiles when we mention Iowa because it is, in fact, super rad:

-Iowa is the home of the world's largest strawberry

Did that just blow your mind? DID IT!?

-Quaker Oats, in Cedar Rapids, is the largest cereal company in the world

What is more exciting that oats?! I defy you to answer that.

-Home state of John Wayne. 

A pretty friendly, happy guy (when he's not drinking whiskey or putting on an eyepatch or spanking misbehavin' womenfolk or calling people "pill-GRIM")

-Jethro's BBQ n' Bacon Bacon Bacon

A real restaurant with some of these REAL items on the menu: A bucket of bacon, the Bacon Bacon sandwich, the bacon Philly (like a philly cheesesteak but just bacon instead of steak), the triple Bacon Bacon, Bucket of Chocolate covered Bacon, Bacon ice cream.

-Campers and motor homes are manufactured in Winnebago County. They're called Winnebago's. 

Literally NOTHING classier.

-Ripley's Believe It or Not has dubbed Burlington's Snake Alley the most crooked street in the world. 

I'm also pretty sure it has some kind of tie-in to school supply shopping on for wizards. Because its called Snake Alley, and it's magical. Harry Potter, I'll see you there!

-The Iowa state fair is famous for it's yearly (not at all creepy) butter statues.

INCLUDING a JOHN WAYNE butter statue of COURSE

And (GASP) none other than Mr HARRY POTTER. I told you guys, I told you.

- CORN. 

Corn is delicious. It's nutritious. It provides great canvases for aliens to leave crop circles. Corn fields are perfect for hiding from ax murderers. Corn can be made into corn syrup which is the sweet elixor of life for most Americans. It can be popped into an ideal movie snack. It can be waved in you're friend's faces (results may vary)

-Ideal location for zombie apocalypse. 
            Scarce population. Everyone has guns. And corn to hide in. And tractors to drive through zombie herds. And cows to offer as sacrifices. And farms to grow food and make friends with Hershel. 

- Speaking of tractors: John Deere has a big ol' manufacturing plant there. 

I can admit when I'm wrong, you guys. There IS something classier than a Winnebago. And you have just seen it.

I cannot imagine anyone would need anymore convincing that Iowa is THE place to be.  After a few months of living there and eating frozen custard (YES THATS A BIG THING THERE) and eating BACON BACON BACON and licking the butter statues, you might see me in an Iowa Walmart, finally looking my best- finally blossoming into the Iowan I've always wanted to be.

Don't be jealous, everyone. 

Just come to visit me. Okay. PLEASE? 

Please.