Why I divorced Mr Darcy and married Mr Grimes

When I was in high school I was way into Jane Austen. I KNOW. You've never heard of a 16 year old who is into that stuff, huh? I was on team Darcy all the way. You guys, you guys- in my yearbook from sophomore year of highschool, in the back where everybody signs- yeah, Mr Darcy signed my yearbook. And by that I mean, I wrote "Allyson, I love you. -Mr Darcy" and I didnt even try to disguise my own handwriting. Believe me when I tell you that is not the least bit embarrassing to find 12 years later. Ay ay ay.

But now, I'm like...grown up. Mature. And stuff. And I've put away my girlish obsession with Mr Darcy and moved up in the food chain to a Mr Rick Grimes (From AMC's The Walking Dead of course). GRIMEY! When Orrin told me he liked a show about zombies (in which they never actually use the word zombies) I think I did some disgusted snorts and told him what a lowlife he was to like that gorey cheesefest. But then I watched one episode. And I was hooked. Hooked on walkers growling, hooked on the creepy violin music opening scene, but most of all hooked on Rick Grimes.

Mr Darcy is for amatures. Grimey is where it's at. And here is irrefutable evidence to support my conclusion.

Mr Darcy is rude to people he just met. For no reason except that he's a jerk.

Rick Grimes is compassionate to walkers he just met. For no reason except he's got a heart of gold.

"I'm sorry this happened to you to you." (kaBLAMO)

Mr Darcy is always wearing frou-fou hoitey stuffy outfits and he looks like it took a team of 20 butlers to dress him while he scowled at them in contempt.

Rick Grimes is always looking effortlessly, ruggedly handsome like he came out of an LL Bean catalogue even in the slim wardrobe pickins of a zombie apocolypse. I mean. Come on. He just threw that on and he looks PERF!

Mr Darcy may be articulate, but really, who needs all those fancy stuffy words?

Not me.

Mr Darcy on a horse (Le yawn. Knowest thou the way to the polo match?)

versus Rick Grimes on a horse (Ohhh yeah, that is one good looking cowboy hero cop and his horse- oh noooo it's being eaten!)

Mr Darcy can save your family from the social stigma of your skanky younger sister running off to shack up with someone by paying the scumbag shacker-upper-guy to marry her even though he doesnt love her. Oh, thanks, superhero! (insert EPIC eye roll)

Rick Grimes can save your family from being EATEN and TORN TO PEICES by the undead, and keep you from starving, and lead the group of struggling survivors with his natural dynamic manliness. So, that seems...better.

In conclusion, Rick Grimes > Mr Darcy. Plus, I mean, if it REALLY makes you feel better, Andrew Lincoln (the actor who plays the Ricktator) has a British accent in real life. Although, honestly, I prefer the gravely, overdone Southern cop voice myself. Because I'm mature now.

The End.