"The List"

This may be the most embarrassing post I ever write, but it has to be done. Orrin and I were both DYING upon this discovery, and he told me the world needed to see "The List."

Before I can explain what "The List" is, let me set the stage for you. This past week I had surgery on my nose- to fix a super-duper deviated septum. Turns out, I never knew humans were supposed to be able to breathe out of their noses. I thought we were all dorky little mouth breathers- but medical science has shown me the light! This surgery will allow me to breathe much easier, and the doctor also made my nose LOOK better (upping my hotness factor is a huge plus, obviouslyyyy) and it will hopefully help me sleep better once it's all healed up! All good news. Except that the hotness and the breathing and the sleeping have not kicked in yet. 

I'm stuffy, I'm bruised up, and I'm seriously DRUGGED. Last night, with my head propped up on a million pillows and while I was snuggled up to my humidifier, flying high on vicodin, I was tossing and turning. I could not get comfortable. I do not remember this, but apparently I booted Orrin out of the bed for snoring. But I still could not get comfortable and it was just a terrible night's sleep. BLERG. I guess that's the price I pay for wanting to, you know, BREATHE NORMALLY at some point in my life.

Anyway, this afternoon I opened up the "notes" app on my phone to add a few items to a grocery list for this week and I came across an absolute GOLD MINE.

A note, written at 5:23 AM last night. Which, because of daylight savings time, was really 4:23 AM. I have no memory of writing this note. 

And it appears to be (drum roll please)..... 

A zombie survival guide!  (Y'all know my love for The Walking Dead. I have also been reading World War Z with Orrin, which is an account of a zombie uprising. It got into my subconscious.)

Uhhhh.....

Important snippets I knew I must not forget- they had to be preserved! One stroke of genius after another!

A buncha pits! Kick them down! Shoot the lions! Dog bite suits! Ice hotels! Dole plantation!

Orrin immediately pointed out that he loved how some of it seems to be a critique of things that have already happened- such as "Keep better watch".

This is it- the window into my weird, drugged up, disturbed soul.